Breakups are hard. But the part that’s coming after that is even worse. While during the whole breakup process, you’re feeling emotional ups and downs, the period following it is pure sadness. You are constantly thinking about her, replaying all those nice moments you had together in your mind, trying to understand when it all went to hell.
If you can’t take this anymore and feel like you’re ready to get rid of those thoughts, you’re in the right spot. We are here to give you some very practical advice on how to stop thinking about your ex. Take the first step on your healing journey now.
Why You’re Still Thinking about Ex?
Thinking about ex who broke up with you is rather normal. But having her on your mind, even though you were the one to initiate the breakup, may feel quite strange. You might even think something like, “I’m addicted to my ex.” Either way, why do you keep doing it? Let’s dig out the reasons to get to the core of the problem.
Unanswered questions
Very few couples truly discuss all the aspects of their relationships openly all the time. Since conversations like these are often uncomfortable, most people try to avoid them at all costs. Therefore, you, as well as your partner, may have a lot of questions about each other’s behaviors you have no answers for. You may be recalling some moments from the past and wondering if that’s when it all started falling apart or if you two still had a chance back then. So if you are asking yourself, “Is my ex thinking about me?” the answer is probably yes.
You need dopamine
The whole “thinking about your ex” situation is pretty sad, but the feelings it evokes in you may be quite pleasant sometimes. Whether you are a couple for a few months or years, you probably have a lot of beautiful memories together that now turn into intrusive thoughts about ex. We are talking about those wonderful moments when you felt that you found a very special person you want to spend your life with. Playing these scenes of your life in your mind makes you feel happy for a few seconds or minutes, and your body likes that.
Idealization
Are you wondering, “Why do I keep thinking about my ex?” When different events from the past pop up in our minds, our brains tend to focus on positive aspects rather than negative ones. So, when you are trying to get the answer to the question “How to forget about your ex,” you will need to take it time to get the answer. Remember those moments when she took care of you when you were sick? Or how she comforted you when you had problems? Things like this make you idealize the other person and even start considering getting back together.
5 Ways to Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Let us warn you in advance; there are going to be no magic tricks on how to stop thinking about your ex. If you want to achieve it, you must put in some effort. But if you are ready for it, you are going to be amazed by the results.
1. Focus on your life
If you want to stop thinking about your ex, it’s time to face the truth. Most of the time, when you feel you miss your ex, it means that you are just bored. When you have nothing to do or your activities are not very exciting, your brain starts looking for other ways to get the aforementioned dopamine.
⚽️🎨📖🏔One of the best things you can do to stop thinking about ex is to busy yourself with hobbies, chores, and hanging out with friends. Instead of googling “how to stop thinking about an ex,” go to a gym, start painting, find your favorite book genre and engage in reading, organize a party, and get to know your neighbours. All in all, don’t leave nostalgia a chance. And if you ever catch yourself wondering, “Should I stop talking to my ex?” the answer is yes.
2. Surround yourself with support
Sometimes, all you need to feel better after a breakup is a long conversation with your best friend. Even if you are not the kind of person who shares his feelings with others, in some cases, this is exactly what you need.
🤗Tell someone you trust about what is happening, share your emotions, and get the much-needed support. If you are researching how to stop thinking about your ex, we also suggest considering going to a therapist, as getting professional help might be even better.
3. Practice living in the moment
Do you have the “can’t stop thinking about my ex” kind of problem? We often do things in an automatic mode, barely thinking about what we are actually doing. For instance, when we eat, we are used to busying ourselves with watching TV or thinking about work, house chores, or… someone we miss.
🧘♂️Therefore, the next tip is to focus on whatever you are doing at that very moment. For example, when you are taking a shower, concentrate on the feeling of warm water touching your body and the smell of the shower gel. When you are drinking coffee, think about how it tastes, its temperature, and the texture of the cup you’re holding in your hands.
4. Write a list of the reasons why you broke up
Still thinking about ex, even after several months or even years after a breakup? As we have already mentioned, nostalgia is a dangerous thing, making you remember only good moments. That’s why you end up with a sad face, thinking, “Oh, I miss my ex.”
✔️To not get fooled by your brain, sit down and list all the reasons why your relationship didn’t work. This will help you avoid reconsidering all your decisions and be willing to get back together. The thing is, once you even let a tiny thought, “What if we try again?” get into your mind, the game is over, and your overthinking will consume you for a long time.
5. Give it time
Even if you are trying not to think about your ex really hard, she is still on your mind, so treat yourself with kindness. It is never too easy to forget someone who used to mean the world to you. According to research, ex-partners are likelier to stay friends after a breakup if they were friends before the romance began. Nevertheless, this topic is actually incredibly controversial. While some consider it totally normal to go from being a couple to being nearly best buddies, others can’t even imagine how something like that could work.
💔💔💔 Remind yourself that you are not the only one going through a headline “I keep thinking about my ex” journey right now. You can find people experiencing similar situations on Instagram and follow them to get some support.
Is It Possible to Stay Friends with an Ex? Expert Thoughts
Want to discover whether it is possible to stay friends after splitting up? Experts define a number of reasons why some people can’t stop thinking about ex and remain friends after becoming ex-partners:
- Feeling safe and comfortable. You may feel secure with your ex because of the trust and understanding you built during the relationship. It is more comfortable to keep that connection going rather than creating a new one with someone else.
- Practicality. You may share a lease, have mutual friends, or even work together with your ex. So when it comes to a breakup, you think about how you will communicate after that and decide that staying friends is the best way. This can make the aforementioned situations easier for both of you to manage.
- Being polite and respectful. You may also choose to stay friends simply to keep things civil. After all, you once loved and admired this person more than anyone. Why would you change to complete strangers or even enemies now? If you don’t want the breakup to create awkwardness or tension, staying friends can help maintain a nice relationship.
Conclusion
It will take time until you stop thinking about your ex completely, but with our tips, it will be faster. The top advice you will get anywhere if you are researching how to stop thinking about your ex is to get busy. Trust us; there is nothing better than that. Of course, at the end of the day, it’s you and an empty apartment again. However, focusing on other things for at least some time will feel like a great relief for your restless mind. Some other tips include:
- leaning on supportive people
- focusing on the present moment
- listing the reasons you broke up
- being patient and giving it time
We sincerely hope our advice will help you forget someone who is no longer part of your life. If you want to stop thinking about your ex, one thing is sure: you can do it!
