How to stop being shy? A lot of people worry about this issue because really shyness in some way interferes with living a full life. This applies to everything: go on a date with a girl, negotiate a promotion with management, or just make new acquaintances. Each of us has cherished goals and dreams – in order for them to become a reality, you need to act. However, shyness can become a barrier to getting what we want. Can shyness be cured? The most important thing is that shyness can be overcome. And the first step to this is to read our article right now!
“Shyness in any form gets in the way of being yourself. A person fully reveals himself only when he feels at ease.”
Often, people with shyness do not understand why sometimes things in their lives do not work out the way they need. The answer is simple: perhaps you need to change something in yourself. Some shy people don’t even realize that this is what prevents them from achieving success and their desired goals in life. Therefore, start acting right now and your life will change! There were no such people who used our advice and nothing has changed.
What Causes a Person to Be Shy?
Representatives of different psychological approaches at different times considered the sources of shyness to be both genetic conditioning and the environment in which a person is located, the attitudes and beliefs that he absorbs from childhood as he grows up. Is shyness a disorder? Of course not, it is just one of the character’s traits. By the way, according to statistics, about 20% of people have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. So another 80% depends on social factors. This means that it is in our power to try to change the habitual way of reactions and improve our communications with others – to look for and find effective ways for this, without relying on heredity.
Shyness is based on self-doubt, low self-esteem, and excessive concern for the opinions of other people. The key accompanying sensation is the fear of future embarrassment, the experience of what might be encountered. The following factors can also influence shyness:
- Rejection in a relationship.
- Fear of beang unheard and misunderstood.
- Reciprocity. Often this is an even stronger fear than the fear of rejection. It occurs in those who are afraid of intimacy, who have never had the experience of close relationships or this experience was traumatic
- Fear of appearing stupid or frivolous.
- Fear of being ashamed or being judged because your opinions, views, and values are different and different from others.
All this can be summarized as follows: we are afraid to become noticeable, to present our thoughts, feelings, and desires to another person or group of people, and to sincerely declare ourselves. But all this can be corrected and overcome shyness with the help of our simple but effective ways.
How to Stop Being Shy? Effective Methods to Overcome Shyness
Any of us is shy from time to time and feels awkward. This is absolutely normal, but excessive shyness can greatly interfere in professional and personal life. There are effective ways to help you overcome internal barriers and reach a new level.
1. Describe all the problem situations that make you feel embarrassed
Analyze situations that cause you inner feelings. Analyze in detail each case, and what exactly confuses you. Be careful and specific. For example, you may be shy when interacting with people. It is important to clarify with what specific people: strangers, girls or guys, leaders. When you break down a problem into details, it becomes less complex. After you write down all the situations, arrange them in ascending order and start working on a minor problem. In this way, you will gradually overcome the most difficult problems.
2. List your strengths
The reason for shyness lies in low self-esteem. The best way to boost your self-esteem is to list your strengths. Do not underestimate your strengths, write out all your strengths, even the most insignificant ones. For example, you are not good at telling stories for a long time, but you are good at listening to others. This is also an important quality that can be useful in any situation.
3. Set a goal
The best way to combat embarrassment is to have a clearly defined goal. When you know why you are making efforts on yourself, then you will have more motivation to walk this path. An excellent impetus may be the desire to get a promotion at work. To do this, you need to prove yourself, interact more with management, and take responsibility for the result. So step by step you can get rid of the problem.
4. Get out of your comfort zone
Shyness will not disappear overnight, it is a long process of training your skills and eradicating bad habits. The best way to speed up this path is a few exercises:
- Operate in reverse. Imagine that your shyness is some kind of program that you can restart. How it works: You’re at a party and you don’t feel like talking at all. Change your mood, loosen up, go to the funniest table, and start a conversation. If during a conversation you feel in the background, then start asking active questions and switch roles.
- Chat with strangers. Your shyness will not go anywhere until you start exercising and talking to strangers. Every day try to talk to someone on the street, in a store, or in transport. You are unlikely to meet this person again in life, so feel free to train your skills.
- How to stop being shy around a girl? Get ready for an important conversation or date. If you plan to approach a girl but feel embarrassed, then talk, for example, with your friend and tell him everything that you want to say when you meet her. After that, talking on a date will be much easier.
5. Forget about your ego for a while
The most effective way to overcome shyness is to stop thinking about yourself and start caring for others. This is how you transform your experiences into empathy and altruism. This technique was used by the first lady of the United States, Eleanor Roosevelt, a very shy and timid lady by nature. She empathized with the victims of racism and discrimination, fought for their rights, and won the favor of millions. It is enough just to stop cultivating your own ego: “what will they think of me”, “probably they are laughing at me”, or “I look ridiculous”. Try to shift the focus to the interlocutor, concentrate on what they say, feel their problem – and your own shyness will fade into the background.
6. Sincerely confess your embarrassment
How to stop being shy around your crush? The phrase “I am very worried” can create a favorable atmosphere in any conversation. Take it for yourself. Or come up with a similar one, but your own. It can be used in any communication – both to a large audience and in private tête-à-tête conversations. By the way, before meeting the woman you could chat with her on the dating site and say that you are worried, in such a way it will be easier for you to meet her in real life. By talking about your excitement before starting a dialogue, you give yourself support and win over your partner – after all, they can also be shy. Then people begin to empathize with you. To decide on sincerity, to admit one’s own weakness and vulnerability is actually a very bold step that speaks of great inner strength. A sincere conversation will be easier to build from the very beginning. Just try.
7. Don’t focus on anxiety
Let’s suppose that the team wants to encourage you with a special award, and when you receive it, you need to go up on stage and make a speech of thanks. A shy person at this moment experiences something akin to suffocation – the words seem to get stuck in the throat. This is because he has time to think about his fear. Do not give yourself the opportunity to analyze something at such moments: as soon as you start to think that everyone is looking at you, shyness will paralyze you. Remember the main message of all the articles in the How to Stop Worrying and Start Living series: just take action. They came out, stood up to the microphone, and said their word. About how it was and looked from the outside, think later.
Let’s Sum Up
Shyness is to some extent inherent in absolutely all people in this world. After all, it’s normal to be shy, it can only cross the line when it interferes with your life. The main thing is to admit your problem and have a great desire to change yourself and your life. And then everything will go like clockwork. Using the techniques and practices from our article, soon you will definitely not worry about the question: “How to stop being shy?”.
George Wilson is a renowned life coach with over 10 years of experience in the field. He has helped thousands of people find love and build fulfilling relationships through his personalized coaching and advice.
George’s approach to dating is holistic and focuses on developing healthy habits and mindsets that lead to successful relationships.